CrazyDiamond94

Pad thai with tofu and Pink Floyd while the cat leaps in the togo bag. Tom Ka with chicken for the soul as Mr. Parry plays a mean saxophone solo. Ribeye steak and too many glasses of red wine. On the couch, my cat joins my side. Burnt fudge brownies to end a day meant to push thoughts of you away.

I don’t know where to begin. Rows of blue lines and its single red friend stare through me untouched by the black ink that will soon crowd its lines. The pen yearns for my fingers to touch its tip. To put tip to line. And letter to word. And words to truth. A truth that could release the gnawing at my intestines, the seething blood that pumps itself through every inch of me, around and and around and around so every moment is black ink smeared across a blank sheet of lined paper. The ink, seeping through sheet after sheet. Ruined. Useless. How could I even begin to tell you what it is to be stained. I struggle to find a way in. He,

I open my mouth to begin and then heart starts beating jumping thumping hands shaking hold the paper breathe eye contact breathe you can do this just breathe! deep breath, come on. chill. I breathe the lines in words fall out of my mouth connect eye contact breathe read the lines speak its going well fuck yeah they laughed my hands are actually tremoring really? they looked at my earthquake hands oh shit no that’s bad isn’t it breathe oh its over now “yes, thank you” wow that was… wow.

It lands on my neck & explores my flesh. The prick, horned & hungry pierces my skin & injects disease into my bloodstream. It crawls to my lips & begins to bite, small sips, sucking me in. It takes a touch of me, buzzes off, & I’m left with itching reminders that swell, scab, & scar.

His fingers slide along the row of faders then tap the G-O. The board of buttons spark on, primed for programming. He ticks knobs and clicks buttons. His hands work the board. A world of color and light takes form. Blackout. Fade up. Blue fills the space. Frost gels tinge. He sets the exploration sequence, a kaleidoscope of varied tones. Strobing begins. His fingers caress the instrument. My stage glows amber. He taps my G-O and twists. I burn a brilliant yellow.

I've no words for _ _ _. Every expression is lost. _ _ _ deserve no piece. And yet, here we are. Of course _ _ _ get a poem, A piece, all for  _ _ _. And what to say, hm? Why should _ _ _ deserve this "prize"? I have many words:    ( let me inside your stupid )    ( fucking skull and let me )    ( understand why you're fucking )    ( awful and you're so stubborn )    ( _ _ _ lying, evil, piece of SHIT )    ( WHAT DID I EVER DO TO )                  ( _ _ _ ?!?! ) But - _ _ _ will hear none. Fine. Then this won't be for _ _ _. It's only for me. This poem fucking sucks because _ _ _ stole all of my god damn words, _ _ _. Thanks fo

Unknowingly, you invited yourself in, only to find that previous invaders had conquered, taking their spoils, and leaving me a battered fortress. Unexpectedly, you decided to explore, not to seek your own treasures, but mine. Not to take, but to observe what others had abandoned. Patiently, you found beauty in my dust, and began to restore my pieces, making beautiful and right again, what others had trampled and left to rot. Accidentally, you taught me how to love again, and slowly made yourself at home in me, bit by bit, piece by piece, breaking my heart by filling it with you. Unknowingly, you invited yourself in, only to find that prev

I couldn't love you, Even if you wanted me to, Make no mistake, I do love you, But I would never say that to you. You don't need someone like me, Who cries and whines, All the years that follow me. You don't need such sadness, So leave me here to die, Because I love you, You get to leave me behind.

The paint, Colors depending on one another, Blending, Swirling, Unchained, Like emotions should be.

when it's over, nobody will understand what we had or why. they'll just ask away, (pay no attention  to you or me) blind to the truth, no matter what i say. maybe, all that will remain (  a dream i once had...    (  your smile,       your laugh,       your beauty,       the scent of your hair,       the taste of your lips,       the warmth and tenderness       of your skin against mine,       the pale light of the morning       as the darkness began (slowly) to fade away;       all that remained    ) ...faded away into the darkness of the night;    all that remains ) will be (  is    (  was    ) ) the truth.